That, according to Ric Bucher, was the first comment out of Joakim Noah’s mouth Friday night, as he watched LeBron celebrate a third quarter trip to the foul line with a ridiculous and awkward dance move.
Noah was right–it was old. LeBron had spent the entire game working on his dancing. At one point while on the bench, he celebrated a play by sashaying almost halfway down the baseline. Later during a timeout, LeBron stepped back from the huddle and showed off more moves, dancing through the entire timeout. By the time LeBron’s third quarter antics ensued, it was, as Noah so eloquently put it, old.
Noah’s comment, however, wasn’t merely a judgment on LeBron’s overzealous antics that night. Instead, his words implied that LeBron’s entire charade is becoming tiresome.
For awhile now, there’s been something slightly off-putting about LeBron. He’s a great player, yes; it would be foolish to argue otherwise. But the machinations that surround his on-court exploits are typical of someone with the incessant need to remind the world of his immeasurable celebrity. We get it, LeBron, you’re awesome; you don’t need to wear an “LBJ MVP” shirt to tell us. LeBron has been obsessive in his professed desire to become a “global icon,” and in that quest he’s developed a contrived, fraudulent persona that is both irritating and omnipresent.
It’s also just kind of pathetic. LeBron’s image cultivation permeates everything he does, and virtually none of it seems legitimate. The pre-game chalk spectacle, the MVP t-shirt, and the dancing all seem to suggest that LeBron thinks he’s bigger than basketball. And he’s not. Great player, sure. When he starts winning titles and delivering time after time in the playoffs, then he can start acting like the “King” he wants people to see him as. Until then, LeBron, focus your efforts on winning a title, rather than trying to be the coolest, baddest, most amazing player NBA history.
LeBron can make himself into the “global icon” that he so desires. He can put himself on the walls of kids’ bedrooms everywhere in the world, and pitch anything he wants in any country he wants. That status, though, comes from success, from winning titles and ending the debate on who the best player really is. It’s not a status that can be attained through image cultivation and media campaigns. So start winning, LeBron, and then you can do this stuff.
Fitting that it took the universally-hated Joakim Noah, one with no concern for the public’s perception of him, to help me put my finger on a lurking feeling that I’ve had for some time about LeBron. And when LBJ looked over at the Bulls bench, stunned at being berated by Noah, he pretended not to understand the source of Noah’s displeasure. Once again, Noah, in his succinct, eloquent manner, told LeBron exactly what his problem was:
“You’re a bitch.”
